"A Long, Long Time Ago..."

This phrase, said in a low, whispery, spooky voice, is repeated all day long lately at our house.  The new favorite past-time is making up stories (a girl following in her momma's footsteps, apparently), and it's a family affair.  I snuggle up with Reed on my lap, and Lilah and Grady climb onto the couch too.  Lilah usually begins, with her oft-repeated intro, and then passes the torch to me when she gets stuck.  Grady contributes too - mostly with dramatic facial expressions, and occasionally repeating a word his sister or I say during the story.  Reed just giggles at his siblings, trying to grab at their hair (or their snacks, as the case might be.  The boy has barely started eating oatmeal and sweet potatoes, but a bag of Pirate Booty looks awfully appealing to him).

Most of the stories follow the same plot line, usually with Lilah and Grady as the key players, and are anything but scary in the end.  Here is, as close as I can remember it, a transcript of one of our impromptu "ghost stories" from today:

Lilah: A long, long time ago, on a dark and stormy night, some little children decided to go trick-or-treating.  They dressed in their costumes and went outside.

Me: What were their costumes?

Lilah: The little boy, who was named Grady, was a cowboy.  And the little girl, Lilah, was a princess.

Me: Ooooh, good costumes.  Then what happened.

Lilah: They walked down the street with their trick-or-treat bags and got lots of candy.  But then!  Momma, you tell it.

Me: But then, they saw a house they hadn't visited yet.  It was at the end of a long, crooked driveway.  It was very dark and spooky.

Lilah: It was a haunted house!

Me: Yes, it was a haunted house.  They climbed up the steps to the porch and knock, knock, knocked on the door.  No one answered.  So they rang the doorbell, ding-dong!  And no one answered.  But the big door creaked open.  Then what happened, Lilah?

Lilah: They saw a big, big, tall stairs that they had to climb.  And at the top - oh no!  There were great, glowing eyes shining.  They didn't know what they were.  So they climbed the creaky stairs. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12.  There were twelve stairs.  And when they got to the top, they turned on a light.

Me: Oh no!  What was there!  A scary ghost?

Lilah: No, Momma, it wasn't a scary ghost.  It was just a little, teeny, tiny black cat.

Grady: Meow!

Lilah:  It didn't know where its mommy and daddy were, so Lilah and Grady decided to take it home and help it find its mommy and daddy.  And they lived happily ever after.

Me: That was a great story.

Lilah: It was.  Can we tell it again?

The best part is Lilah's dramatic storytelling voice.  I seriously have to hold in giggles the whole time we are telling the story.  She's always a drama llama, and it really comes out when we are telling stories or playing imaginary games.  I really wish I had a video camera, I would love to record these moments to show them when they are surly teenagers who don't want to talk to me anymore.

This proves, once again, that it really is the simple things that provide the most entertainment.  Whether it's a cardboard box, a paper towel roll, or just an active imagination, you can truly create magic with little ones with minimal effort and basically no cost.  Try it today, and I would love to hear your collaborative stories with your children!

Nature Walk

Attempting a stroller escape.

This guy?  This guy's chill.

I accomplished a major feat today.  I laced up my sneakers, made sure the girl went potty, changed a couple of diapers, and took all three of my little ones on a walk.  By myself.  Three miles of walking on a nature trail, pushing two twenty-something pound children in a huge jogging stroller, plus carrying a fifteen pound baby strapped to my body, made me feel like a superhero.  And as I was huffing and puffing up the impossibly long hill on the way back, Lilah asked me, "Mommy, can you sing a song?".  I told her that I can't until we get to the top of the hill, because I'm out of breath.  "But, Mommy, you're not out of breath.  I hear you breathing!"  True, kid, very true.  So I panted my way through my version of "Raindrops Are Falling on My Head" with some nice back-up from Lilah.  When I got to the top of the hill, I wanted to snap a couple of shots of these mushrooms (with all the rain we've had, wild mushrooms are EVERYWHERE up here!).  Lilah and Grady were both annoyed that I stopped pushing the stroller for ten seconds to take a picture, and both of them immediately tried to escape.


Besides feeling like my lungs were going to collapse, it was really a great mini-adventure.  The air was cool (I feel fall in the air, yay!), everything was freshly washed from the rain, and all was peaceful and quiet in the woods.  The kids seemed to enjoy it too, although Lilah was hoping to see something more exciting than "boring trees".  We heard lots of birds and bugs, but there was no wildlife to be seen today.  I was fine with that.

Speaking of wildlife, we saw a gigantic caterpillar outside today like none I've ever seen before.  I didn't have my camera with me at the time, so no photo, but if anyone knows of a humongous bright green caterpillar with black and white markings, I'm curious as to what kind it was.  It was about six or seven inches long and as big around as my thumb.  Gross.  Lilah thought it was cool, and Grady wanted to poke it.  I think Cosmo wanted to eat it.  Ick.  I much prefer them after they turn into butterflies (or moths, as the case may be.) 

It's nice to have days now and again where you feel like you've got it all together.  I don't feel like that very often, and some days I'm a frazzled mess and can't seem to brush my own hair, never mind take three children aged three and under on a walk in the woods.  So I'm giving myself permission to be proud of myself for such a simple task today.  All too often I think that parents beat themselves up for not doing enough or doing things "right", and I'm trying to change that about myself.  Today, I was an awesome mom.  And you know what?  Tomorrow I will be, too, even if I don't comb my hair, take the kids on an adventure, or read "Barn Animals" 57 times. 

On a side note, I have no idea what's up with blogger today, but I can't get my photos to go where I want on my post.  If you can fill me in on what I'm doing wrong (or just commiserate with me) in the comments, I'd be eternally grateful.  Good night, darling readers!

Re-learning How to Play

When I was a little girl, I was an expert at playing Pretend.  Imagination is one thing I have never lacked, and even now at almost thirty years of age (!), it runs a little wild sometimes.  The crazy things that I think of when Matt is working nights are quite embarrassing in the light of day, but alone in the dark I can convince myself that some sort of creature is in my basement and can break in and eat my dog before I'd ever know a thing.  And now I'm sure you think I'm a total kook, but suffice it to say that my daughter comes by her wild imagination quite naturally.

Since we have had so much opportunity to run around outdoors while here in Vermont, the kids have come up with a bunch of games that they like to play when we are outside.  I have already mentioned our little re-enactment of the Three Little Pigs, and now we do Little Red Riding Hood and Jack and the Beanstalk too.  Recently, Lilah has branched out to making up her own stories, which more often than not include me in the plot line.  Let me tell you, playing Pretend isn't so easy as an adult.  You have to suspend all sense of propriety, throw inhibition to the wind, and just go with it.  This is one aspect of life that children are much better at than adults, and if you want to do it "right", just follow their lead.

Let me walk you through a typical Pretend session in our outdoor time.  We walk out to the ball field behind the house, and Lilah decides that the soccer goal is a cage for trapping animals.  She leads Grady inside, and informs me that they are unicorns who have been trapped by a nasty goblin, and I am the mommy unicorn who must set them free.  I ask her if she knows where the key is, but apparently there is no key, I must use my "snippers" to cut the net.  I set them free, and we run over by the vineyard to hide from the goblin.  We nibble some grapes from the vineyard (or pretend to), and then seek refuge beneath the crab apple tree from the pursuing goblin.  I say something to Lilah, calling her by her name, and she lets me know that her name is not Lilah, it's Sparkle, and Grady is Baby Unicorn Awanna, and I am Mommy Unicorn Ahanna.  She runs to the play tower/sandbox and says it's time for the Fairy Festival.  Apparently we are all fairies now and I must sew her a sparkly blue dress, and a shiny purple one for myself before the "games begin".  Grady will be a prince and wear a "handsome shirt with a silver crown", and we have to get our faces painted like animals. 

The face-painting area is beneath the maple tree, which is where we get sidetracked for a mini-science lesson about slugs and worms, both of which gross me out, and both of which are crawling on the wet ground beneath the tree.  Grady, of course, proceeds to try to alternately squish them and pick them up, while Lilah is more fond of poking at them with her fairy wand (a small branch).  She tells me that slugs are really "cheeky snails with no shells" (thank you, Peppa Pig, for giving my child an English accent).  I tell her that worms have five hearts.  They do, right?  I think that's what I remember from biology class.  Anyway, I rescue the slug one last time from Grady's stomping sandal, and it's back to the sandbox to play Bakery.  Lilah is still a fairy, and she needs to order a wedding cake for the party.  It must be strawberry flavored with white frosting and purple flowers.  And it costs fourteen dollars. 

Soon we are riding on the rides at the fairy festival, which include a carousel of unicorns, a log ride, and the Humbug Adventure (courtesy of Santa's Village).  Just as I'm about to take my turn on the log ride, though, we hear Reed on the monitor waking up from his nap, so it's time to go inside.  Surprisingly, both kids cooperate really well and race me to the back door with promises of juice and a banana at the "snack bar". 

How crazy is it that for an entire hour the only thing that was required to entertain them was for me to open up my own imagination and truly play Pretend?  Sure, we used a soccer goal as a trap and a pail and shovel to make our wedding cake, but if we hadn't had even those things, it wouldn't have mattered one bit to the kids.  They love their toys, to be sure, but it's nice to know they don't need them in order to have a good time.  I am more than happy to participate in these games of Pretend with them, for I know that the years of childhood play are fleeting, and I won't ever have a chance to do it over again.  Let me tell you, though, at the end of the day, this momma is sure ready for quiet time after the kids go to bed!

Letting Kids Be Kids

This past week has been filled with fun and adventure for us here in Vermont and we've made so many memories that I'll cherish forever.  We've done lots of playing outside, lots of baking, and lots of visiting with family.  Lilah and Grady have a new favorite game to play when we go out, and if I didn't already have Lilah's Halloween costume, this game would have inspired the perfect costumes for them this year: The Three Little Pigs.  It's always been one of Lilah's favorite stories, and she has come up with a way to act it out with Grady and me when we play in the backyard.  They run from tree to tree, with each one being a different kind of house - the maple is the house of sticks, the apple tree is the house of straw, and the walnut is the house of bricks.  I, of course, am the Big Bad Wolf who has to chase them and huff and puff to blow the houses down.  But Grady likes to be the Big Bad Wolf too, so sometimes he crosses over to the dark side and chases his sister and huffs and puffs with me.

It's heartwarming to watch my children play together and use their imaginations.  It takes me back to when I was growing up, running around on the farm with my brother and sister and cousins and neighbors, making up stories for us all to act out.  A cornfield could be a castle, a tree could be a pirate hideaway, or a hay barn could be the setting for our many games of 'house'.  We made milkweed crowns, picked daisies and Indian paintbrushes for bridal bouquets, and an old wooden fence was as good as a white horse to ride away on.  Our parents let us create our own worlds, and imagination was the very best tool in our toy box. 

All too often parents, myself included, get caught up in the glitz and excitement of the wide array of toys that do things, and we forget that really the simplest of objects can spark our children's minds in ways that all the electronic gadgets in the world cannot.  Sure, it's nice to have a little pink 'laptop' for Lilah to play with that helps her learn her letters and numbers, but it's no substitute for me sitting down with her and a piece of paper and a marker to teach her myself.  I try to play with and interact with my kids as much as possible, but I'm no superwoman.  And I'm finding that now that Grady is talking more and enjoying pretend play, that they are more likely to come up with their own entertainment with each other.  I am very much a person who likes to have a hand in whatever is going on, but I'm working on taking a step back and letting them just do their thing.  "Child-led play" is a big buzzword in early childhood education, and it makes so much sense.  Of course they need direction and discipline, but they are perfectly capable of deciding what they like to do during the day.  Sometimes that means an entire day of coloring and drawing, sometimes that means a lot of pretend play, and sometimes that means a lot of sitting on the couch and reading books.  Most days it's a combination of those things, and then some.

It's hard for me to let go of the reins sometimes, especially because I have always been a very routine person and I like a structured day.  Maybe it comes from working in a day care, but I have to have a 'schedule' for our days or I think I would go crazy.  That being said, I've been trying to relax about the routine a little bit while we are here visiting and go with the flow more.  The kids still need their naps and a decent bedtime, but I've been able to work around our normal schedule a little bit so that they can take full advantage of the opportunity to visit with family and just play outdoors as much as possible.  So after naps today, instead of doing our normal afternoon thing and playing together here at the house before dinner, we took a little trip to Miss Charlene's to see the horses, Cocoa and Pepper.  Lilah was hesitant to get on, but Grady was all about jumping up in the saddle on little Cocoa! 

He looks like he was born to ride!

Sitting on the tractor was more Lilah's speed.

She loved patting Cocoa, but was "a bit shy" about riding her.

I'm so glad that I took a step out of my own way and just went for it today.  It may seem small, just going for a short visit to a nearby friend's for the afternoon, but it's a big deal for me.  As my children grow and learn, I'm finding that I'm doing just as much growing and learning myself. 

Being a Grown-up

It's not easy, this task of parenting.  Just when you get over the hump of the baby years (well, I'm still in them, but anyway...), you realize that you are now responsible for raising a person, who will hopefully be kind, compassionate, and well-balanced.  As my good friend Katie pointed out to me, you can't make your child empathetic, but you can instill a sense of good judgment and teach him to be kind to others.  Days are filled with "teaching moments", and I am the first to admit that I don't always have a well-written lesson plan.  I find myself losing my temper far more often than I'd like in dealing with the challenges that come with having a three-year-old, and I know that getting emotional about her defiant streak and boundary-pushing is the exact opposite of what I should do, but in the moment I have a hard time remembering that.  What I need to do is validate her feelings and emotions, but teach her that her actions and reactions are not always appropriate or allowed.  Yes, it's okay to be upset that your brother took your toy away, and he should not have done that, but kicking him in the shin is not an acceptable way of letting him know it.  "Use your words," and "We don't use our hands in a mean way," are phrases I'm repeating often lately, and it sometimes makes me sad that she doesn't automatically know that it is never okay to hurt another person.  The truth is, even though she is incredibly smart, cognitively she does not yet comprehend that her actions have an effect on other people.  We'll get there, but it's going to take some tantrums on her part and some extreme patience on mine.

I am also beginning to realize that I can't always control or project my children's emotions and reactions.  Lilah and I had the opportunity to go on a "date night" this week, and I was so excited about what I had planned.  I wanted to take her to the movie theater for the first time, to see the new Winnie-the-Pooh movie.  She loves Disney movies, popcorn, and candy, so this would be a treat that included all three.  How could it go wrong?  Well, as much as my girl loves all of those things, she is absolutely terrified of loud noises and of the dark, and her fears were too much to overcome once we got into the cinema.  She refused to stay, said she wanted to go home, and planted herself on the carpet outside the theater door.  I tried a couple of times to convince her how much fun it would be, to no avail.  So we sat on the floor, ate our popcorn and neon gummy worms, and decided to head out for dinner instead.  I was immensely disappointed; I truly had wanted to see the movie, and to share the experience of going to the theater (which is one of my favorite things to do) with her had me very excited.  But I had to "be a grown-up", take my disappointment in stride, and consider my daughter's feelings first.  We ended up having a fun time anyway, with dinner at the 99 Restaurant and a quick trip to the craft store.  Maybe we'll try the theater again later this year (the girl loves Christmas, just like her momma, so if a good holiday flick comes out, it might do the trick), but for now we'll keep our dates to things I know she'll enjoy, like going to the mall or the museum.

I still want to see Winnie-the-Pooh, though.

All dressed up for our date.  And yes, I'm dorky and made my daughter wear a matching headband with me.

The gummy worms didn't stand a chance.

As much as she can push my buttons, this girl is truly a sweetheart.  She loves her baby brother so much.  "He's my heart," she tells me.

Smile!

Today's post is a little bit random, but that's how it's been around our house the last few days so that's how I'm writing.

Lilah, like many three year old girls, knows how to throw a mean tantrum.  And, like many girls, those tantrums reach epic proportions after she comes home from spending time with her grandparents.  I know I did it to my own mother, and I'm truly understanding of the phrase "I hope you have one just like you someday" now.  Lilah was fortunate enough to spend a few days with Grammy Julie and Grumpie earlier this week, and I was so grateful that she was able to do so.  I spent a lot of time with my grandparents as a child, and I hope my children are fortunate enough to do the same.  She went to the beach, to Santa's Village, and got lots of ice cream, lucky girl.  And I got to have a little bit slower-paced daily routine with just the two boys, although the house was truly too quiet without her.  I was thrilled to pick her up at a halfway point on Wednesday, and she was very sweet and chatty with me the whole ride home.  Lots of kisses and hugs, and "I missed you soooo much!" was the refrain for the rest of the day.

And then, Thursday arrived.  My sweet little angel girl turned into a three-year-old devil.  She screamed, she kicked, she was defiant about everything.  She spent a fair amount of minutes in time out.  But the thing is, this girl knows the routine and understands her responsibilities when she has done something wrong, and I'm holding onto the testament that it means we are doing something right.  Once she has been placed in time out, she may continue to throw her tantrum for a bit, but she knows that when she stops that she needs to talk calmly and politely to Mommy or Daddy about why she was put there.  She usually apologizes and asks for a kiss and a hug.  And lately, she throws this into the mix: "Mommy, will you please smile at me?  I want you to be happy."

That simple request from my three-year-old daughter has moved me and inspired me as a parent.  I am more conscious about how much I smile and show my happiness around my children these last couple of days.  Because, honestly, it's easy to show them the negative emotions and frustration that come with day-to-day parenting (especially of a toddler and a preschooler).  We have to doggedly reprimand and re-direct, and although it's all in the interest of "their own good", it can't be pleasant to see or hear all of the time.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not constantly on the watch for negative behavior, ready to dole out punishment.  We have lots of fun at our house and I try to let the kids be kids for the most part.  But if you are a parent of a child over the age of one, you know how often "teaching moments" come up during the course of a day.  It's all about balance, and I really want to tip the scales in favor of those happy, smiling moments in the future.

And, speaking of smiles, this kid is full of them.  Forget Happiest Baby on the Block, he's the Happiest Baby in the World:

Don't you just love those baby bubbles?

And Lilah is showing a budding interest in photography, always asking to take a picture when I have my camera out.  She's not half bad, either:

Please ignore my shabby attire, I was trying to beat the heat.

She took this one, too, of her little brother feeding her doll a bottle.  It just melts my heart to see him playing like this:

He is so sweet with baby dolls, even when he's whacking them on the back to "burp" them.

Finally, this made me smile today:

Lilah took the initiative for our "project" today and decided we should make paper bag puppets and a backdrop.  I love how creative her little mind is!

I have set a new goal for myself as a result of Lilah's request.  I want my children to look back and remember how much their mom smiled when they were little.  It sounds simple, but it will be challenging at times.  And now, I'll leave you with another adorable (random) picture of my happy baby.  Thanks for reading!